I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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