...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
