You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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