I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
