...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
there is puke in my bra ... again
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
