do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
