Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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