Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
