Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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