I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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