Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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