You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
