weddingsv make me drug and hornr
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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