We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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