Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
