your parents love me but you hate me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
