At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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