he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
