Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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