i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
