i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
