There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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