I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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