so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
