just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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