Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
