Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
