i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
