We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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