You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
organizing the empties. That sober.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
