My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That accounts for only three of the penises
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
