no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize