pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
