Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
