Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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