Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
