I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
