This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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