im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
