The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
True strength comes from lack of pants
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
