So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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