I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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