from now on my penis is your penis
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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