then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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