You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
