he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
