u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
