i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
