i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
