she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
either way he was missing a nipple.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
