does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
